An amalgamation of sundries and miscellany.

In our society, “sorry” is a swiss-knife of conversation. It can be used in multiple ways, and is used interchangeably with “I apologize”. In this, I have a problem.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” are two different concepts entirely. “Sorry” comes from “sorrow”. It is an emotion, and something felt. You feel sorrow that your friend’s pet died, or that your sister lost her job. Apologizing, on the other hand, is the acknowledging of responsibility in a situation. You would apologize for being late, or for not completing something on time.

Properly used, “Sorry” acknowledges a feeling, while “I apologize” acknowledges an action.

Our using “sorry” to cover both of these concepts is dangerous. If one says “I’m sorry” for things that they feel sorrow over as well as things that they are apologizing for, it can begin to blur together in the mind. Pretty soon, you start feeling guilt for your friend being late to work.

Just as dangerous is the use of “sorry” as a weasel word. It’s allows you a free “Get out of jail” card without ever having to really admit responsibility. We can lie to others and lie to ourselves, and can become extremely adept at smooth-talking our way through things without ever confronting the possibility that we’ve wronged someone.

The word “apologize” is so powerful, and has tremendous restorative powers. People will notice when you use it, and will respect your willingness to step up and admit wrongdoing.

I urge you to take some time and consider how you use “sorry” in your day-to-day conversations. If you feel sorrow, please feel free to use “sorry”. But if it is something you have to ask forgiveness for, use “apologize”. Rise above the standard.